[adult swim]

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Home: The Extension of Self

Home of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes

All weekend, I have been painting my apartment like a "MAD MAN"! I did most of the painting of the walls, but when I picked out a color for the doors that was suppose to be a brownish orange, it came out CLOWN ORANGE! Sooooo... I went back to Home Depot (thank goodness they took back the paint) and got what I call a "Wendy's Frosty" Brown. It looks so much better. The concept and look of my house is going to be a "Natural Contemporary". I want it to feel modern, with subdued colors, bold shapes & designs, with accents from Nature. I want people who come to my house to see that this is an extension of my self. I'm going to put up a lot of my designs, photography, and paintings all around the house. I'll have photos of my progress later on.

In the meantime, I found some photos of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes house online, and wanted to share with everyone Lisa's home. Her mother, Wanda Lopes, now resides in the home, and pretty much kept everything the same way. You will see various artwork from Lisa, as well as artwork from TLC fans. She designed everything in her home to fit her style.

Lisa once said, "My favorite room in the house is the kitchen. I make more use out of it than of any other room in the house--cook, clean, bathe, eat, sleep, fax, watch TV, talk on the phone, f**k, etc."

Wanda Lopes and Lisa's sister, Raina Lopes, look at a portrait of Left Eye above the fire place. I love how she used contemporary and traditional looking furniture together.

"This is sculpture she created when she was in grade school. Creativity had no end with Lisa."

"Wanda & Raina Lopes sit in the 'Purple Room'. It looks pretty comfortable."

"Wanda Lopes takes out a painting Left Eye did in Honduras. It shows a naked Lisa sitting on top of the world, juggling round orbs that represent, Strength, Cooperation, Birth, Money, and a Kingdom."

"Here Wanda Lopes, and her husband play ping pong in the rec room."

"A Statue of Michelangelo greets guest in style."

"Wanda & Raina Lopes stand by another portrait of Lisa."

Question of the Week:

What have you done to make your home or apartment an extension of you? How does the decor' of your house represent your personality and style?
[thanks to sandrarose.com for the photos]

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


"A photo I took trying to capture what little of the god I know"

bare with me as I write this. this is me trying to let go...
I went to my boyfriend's church last Sunday, and I guess it made me realize a few things about myself. As I stood there listening to the sermon, I felt something inside me. Chills. The words and the songs... "moved me." I saw people putting there hands in the air, dancing and stomping their feet, shouting out loud, and at one point move into "holy ghost." I'm no stranger to any of these interactions of the church, even when I was younger, I found it quite strange. Yet today, I wanted to know what it felt like to "let go" like that.
Why couldn't I "worship" like everyone else?

15 years ago, Age 10...
As a young boy, I grew up in a Black Baptist church. Went to Sunday school, went to church events, and for the most part I didn't like it. I hated getting up in the morning, only to try and stay awake during the sermon. I hated standing for long periods of time. The songs never seemed to end, and most of the time it they weren't really good songs. I always had to clap and act like I was having a good time, when all I wanted to do was go home. The service felt like it would never end, I would be so hungry. I asked too many questions for Sunday school, and never really got any answers back. I just sucked it up because I felt I had to. I think through all that holding in of negative energy, it eventually turned me off to church as I got older.

12 years ago, Age 18...
By this time, I realized I was gay, and was well aware that The Church and my religion did not agree on my sexuality. For me, church attendance was non-existent. The only way to keep my sanity of not feeling like I was going to hell was to ignore it. My best friend in high school was part of the the Gospel Choir. At times, I would travel with him when they went to concerts. When the sang, man... you felt it. It was a feeling I haven't really felt before. I would cry every time they sang. It was weird for me, but I loved it.

4 years ago, Age 21...
A bad sexual experience, transformed me into a spiritual person. For details on that you can check out my post, CELEBRATING THE DAY OF MY BIRTH. I started doing research about various religions, philosophies, and ideas that I never knew existed. I started reading "Conversations with GOD" , and it opened my mind, and my heart to GOD again. My relationship was strengthened, and I started hearing and seeing visions of what I could feel as GOD communicating with me. I didn't consider myself a Christian anymore... for various reasons. I wouldn't want to go into detail about that because I'm not here to start an argument to diminish one's faith. I just felt that I needed a GOD that was best fit to uplift and strengthen me. I found my GOD.

Last Sunday, Age 25...
I have learned to appreciate my former religion, and take in what I could whenever I did go to church. Yet, I was never into praising and worshipping in church. I wish I could tell you why. I enjoyed receiving the message, clapping my hands from time to time. And whenever I felt "moved", I would either wipe a small tear from my eye, or give a silent prayer, saying thank you. I always felt I was just a shy person. I didn't want people to look at me like I was crazy. I didn't want to "act" a part. I wasn't a church goer, so why should I sit up in there and shout like I'm here every Sunday. Yet last Sunday, I felt something inside of me... Chills. For that moment, I wanted to shout, and say Amen, and jump up and down, and give all the praise, and all the worship, and uplift the spirit of GOD in me. But I didn't. I held it in. I clapped, and smiled, and I felt sad.

If I am such a spiritual person, and feel these feelings in me, why can't I let go?

[my unanswered question]

Thursday, May 12, 2005


"This is me, a co-worker, and a client of mine taking a photo during a company dinner. I am the one on the far right just in case some of you have never seen my fine, sexy, and intelligent self. I need to stop being so damn cocky."

I was reading back on some of my past blog entries and was wondering... I talk about going to the circus, going out on romantic dates, even partying with strippers. While I love every minute of it, I do work, you know! So I wanted to share a few recent experiences I had working as a Graphic Designer at the company I work for.

The kid is like 17, still in high school, Black and Hispanic, and even though nobody can touch my boyfriend, the kid is pretty attractive. He's kinda built because he does karate, and he has like hazel/green like eyes. It was funny because, I'm interviewing the kid, trying be professional, and all I kept thinking was, are those his real eyes? Then I was wondering... Do people usually hire people that are attractive even if there work is not all that? Does being attractive make you get jobs easier? For me, I need the help, and I don't care how cute you are, if you can't design, you don't have a job. So the kid is on a trial run, but having another attractive person around the office doesn't hurt.

I have these two clients that get on my nerves! Every time they call, the secretary says, "Mr. Simon, your best friend, is on line one", or "Mr. Daryll, your best friend, is on line two." They just won't leave me alone. "Hey Scott, when is my job going to be done?" MY NAME IS SHAWN DUMBASS! He always asking me when his stuff is going to be done. WHEN ITS DONE, DAMN! Once I finish designing it, it goes into production. I already told you when you would get it, so why are you calling me every day asking me! Ugghhh. Then there's Mr. Daryll. Now Daryll is a nice guy, but he wants to be a designer. You can't have me making every small change imaginable. Do you know your paying for this? Move this up. Move this down. Move this over a little bit. Noo, just put it back the way it was. Ughhhhh. Don't you have a business to run... so then let me do my job. I'm just venting.... breeeeeaaatthhhh.

I had the honor of designing the new company logo. We had to change the name of the company for legal reasons, so I was assigned to create the logo and the stationary package. The old logo was cool, but it seemed out-dated to me. So, we needed something creative, classic, vibrant and new! I think it came out really cool. The best part was doing the big huge sign in front. It Looks very professional. At least I know that if I ever leave, I can look back and know I did that.

[just want to say congratulations to my baby for graduating college, I'm so proud of him, sorry I can't take off work and see you, but think of me.]

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Do I Smell Elephants Outside?

NEWS FLASH! So I'm looking outside my mom's window into the park, and I see some elephants just chillin, eating god knows what! Why is there elephants across the street?

Ohhhh, its just a circus. A CIRCUS? IN THE GHETTO? Ohhhh yes fellow bloggers UniverSoul Circus is in town! Now you guys know that sometimes being an adult is a bitch, so what better way to get back to being a kid, then enjoy the circus, Hip Hop Style! Now I haven't been to the circus since I was, what 10! So you know a brotha was trying not to act excited, even though I was giggling like a school girl. Then this guy knocked on our door and gave my whole family free tickets, I was jumping up and...

[ummm, shawn, thug up, get yourself together]

So I was cool, I'll check out this shit, see what's good.

As soon as the show starts, they start playing Ciara's "Oh" like Whoa! I'm bouncing up and down, feeling the groove, and then they straight go into some Caribbean music, and all these dancers and guys on stilts are dropping it like its hot!

Then this girl came out and started bending and twisting her body to Jennifer Lopez's "Get Right"... man that girl could make a gay man go straight! Fellas, do you know what you can do with a female like that? I don't even want to think about it.

[I love you baby!]

So then these brothas from the Dirty South come out start dancing. They was hot! This one guy started "voguing" then just started break dancing... they were very entertaining, and very buff if I do say so! Overall, my family and I had a good time, and I felt like a kid again...

[we now take you back to my regular scheduled adult life, which is currently in progress]

Thursday, May 05, 2005


Celebrate me...

Because I got the swagger like no other.
On point, and more attractive then your lover.
You know your hands are thinking of me undercover.

You single, and you like my single.
Saw the star in my eye tingle,
trying to get back stage so we can mingle.

I'm a Celebrity...

Cockier that Kanye and Usher combined,
and just as sexier, yet more refined.
The words I say, and how I say it, got you intensified.

Front and center, spotlight on me.
Hotter then any singer or mc.
Game so tight, when I move, I exude sexuality.

Cause I'm a Star, Bitch!

Originated, Always Duplicated,
On Top of the World, Feeling Elated,
Continuously Hated, Never Underrated,
Critically Acclaimed, Fan Appreciated.

But you can't see the shit I see,
This mirror in front of me, makes me a celebrity.

Even with my remote control/microphone in hand,
and my back up cd player/band,
I'm still the mutha-fucking Man!

[like you never felt that way before?]

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