DRAW ON ME...

myspace.com/shawnqt

Death of a Tooth

I don't know what to do.

I'm at work, and I pretty much finished up everything I had to do until my boss comes in and gives me another design project. It has been pretty slow here at the office, due to all the deaths going on. My boss had to fly out to Puerto Rico because one of his family members died, and then when he gets back, his bestfriend, and one of our clients passed away as well. Then on top of that... one of our new clients mother dies, which puts one of our designs on hold. I'm so used to death at this job, its crazy! One of my bosses' sons best friend died in a tragic car accident, and one of the barbers that works across the street from my job, his children got killed in a hit & run. Yeah... Death really does come with the job. I pray HARD, that the next one won't be me!

So I went to the dentist yesterday, and found out that I have 5 cavities and I need a root canal. I have NEVER had teeth problems when I was a kid or a teenager. Since my job doesn't have dental insurance, I been holding out... well I'm glad I went. My teeth have been killing me on one side, so I finally got it checked out. I can't afford a root canal! But, I have an option to get the tooth pulled. Sigh. The Dentist said that it won't be seen if I smile, but if I smile big it can be seen. What do I do? I love smiling? Do I pay over 1,000 to fix it, or do I just pull it and don't smile big?

My Mom said that even if you do get a root canal, they might have to take it out eventually. Do I get a fake tooth down the line when I get more money? I don't want to seem vane, but I love my teeth the way it is, but I don't want it to get infected and go brain dead! I like my brain even more! lol. Can I handle the toothless jokes? Will I still be attractive to Fuzzy?

Maybe I am just over-reacting. sigh.
See, this is the reason why I hate being an adult! I have to make all these choices that evolve money and health, and its just too much at times! Now the question of leaving my job comes into play, so that I can go to a place that does have dental insurance. My mom keeps hounding me to find another job. While I have enough money to pay my bills, I could be making way more! I try to avoid these issues because I want to live a peaceful life, but I know there will be a time that I have to "kill" off a lot of things that are comfortable now, so that I can live a better life later.

Well as you get older, you have to deal with these things. Sucks, but you have to. All I want to do is go home, and watch Beyonce perform "DejaVu" on the BET Awards again! Yet, I have to go home and find a way to come up with the money to fix my teeth.

Great, what fun! What do you guys think?

UPDATE FRIDAY, JUNE 30, 2006:

I really appreciate everyone else's advice.

I will try and see if I can go to a Dental School and see if they can do the root canal for a lower price. If the wait is too long, I will just go ahead and get it pulled

The worse that can happen is I don't have a tooth for awhile... but the price of a root canal and a fake may be around the same price.

All I have to do is prepare myself for not having a tooth, lol. It will be hard at first, but I know I will get over it eventually... thanks again!

SEND MORE ADVICE IF U CAN, STILL NEED INPUT!

BLOG ALERT!

Check out my Friend's Blog!

Intelligent & Sexy, what else can you ask for...

http://hisdailyvariety.blogspot.com/

OH, WHAT NEW YORK FUN!

FEELS GOOD TO BE GAY AND FREE!

[funny right?]

_______________________

First, the DLB Topic Discussion "Urges" was HOT! I really got to meet a lot of cool people and got to get out some of my, ugghhh Urges outl. It's all about control! If you ever get the urge to eat, shop, or fuck or whatever, always know your the master of your own thoughts and feelings. Just take a step back, think about what your consequences could be, and then you can think focus on what you need to do. It was great seeing Derrick, Jason, and the rest of the group again!

__________________________________

B L O G G E R S U N I T E !

THE SUMMER KICK OFF IN CHELSEA

If you want to read the full stories on what happen go to:

MADOSI N4R HOUSTONNY

Your two neutrons away from crazy if you think I'm going to write the same story again! LOL.

I just want to say that I love hanging out with Omar, that's my dawg. I was upset he didn't come to the book club with me, but enjoyed his energy yesterday. I hope he feels better, I know he wasn't feeling well, people always making him sick! I am really happy Ty and Dapper D came... even though they were late! The Holland Tunnel is a crazy, but if you wasn't NAPPING, lol, you would have been on time! ;) I always enjoy Antar's energy... he's like a major socialite! Always knows how to create a good time. Love the Donald shirt! Prodical Sun is mad cool, he is so mellow, but still knows how to enjoy himself. Madosi is CRAZY, very intelligent, and mad cool, I really enjoyed hanging out with him. It felt so natural! Drama King to the fullest, I love it! I was really surprized to see HoustonNY, he is so nice and sooooooooooo funny. I was cracking up the entire time. We have to hang out with him again. Everyone else was cool. The Superstars, the Fag Hags, the Sexy Brothas, the Drinks... it was great! I miss my Fuzzy though... all night, it just felt like someone was missing. I still miss him. This was the first weekend we didn't spend time with one another. Its cool, I'm going to go see him tommorrow, get rid of some Urges!

I read a couple of comments that you guys wanted to really know what happens behind the scenes. Well, without telling everybodie's biz, I can give a small glimpse into what happened.

BEHIND THE SCENES:

• While I enjoy going to the blogger events, I still get very nervous. It is a difference when u read someone's blog, and people reading mine... it's all about first impressions. If I meet someone new, will they like me? Will I like them? Will we click. I remember seeing HoustonNY at the bar. I did recognize him, but didn't want to go up to him right away. I guess I had to prepare what I would say. Actually he was pretty cool, and we clicked very well.

• Ok, we are sitting down and eating, and one of the guys at the event, Omar went on a date with a few times. I was thinking to myself, what will happen? What would they say? I hope there won't be any drama! All and All... both was cool. Omar is too classy for Drama, but I was sure thinking it!

• I truly adore N4R, and he is very open about his weight gain due to his medical condition. So everytime I'm going to meet him, I think is he going to be really huge, or come out with like a major six-pack and have everyone drool over him! LOL. Hey this is my mind working! N4R is sexy the way he is, and his personality will always be what I enjoy the most. And its fun pinching his nipples once in awhile for laughs!

• There was this guy that kept asking me to see my azz. I told Fuzzy about it, and he told me to point him out. I said why? He said I want to know what kind of guys my baby can pull. Oh Fuzzy! :) I think that guy was drunk anyway!

• All the bloggers are sexy, and you KNOW, someone may have a crush on someone else. I'll just leave it at that!

• Omar dick was showing through his pants. He knew what he was doing!

• I love with Dapper D gets drunk, he starts glistening on the forehead and starts acting crazy! Thank Goodness Ty can drive us home!

• There was some discussion about where Jamal Franklin was, as if he fell off the face of the planet!

• I think I wore the gayest outfit ever! But I don't care, I was still sexy!

Later that night, the rest of my friends went to the pier

and met up with my MYSPACE friend "L."

What's funny is, he's been actually reading my blog for months!

Actually he's been reading everyone's blogs for months, lol!

He's a silent reader, but pretty much knows everyone in the Blogsphere.

It was really cool hanging out with him, our connection is so natural,

and we had a lot of fun! Dancing to Beyonce, talking about Mr. Brown, Great times!

He always trying to look sexy, goodness, fine whatever, lol. Omar does the same thing, ya ain't cute! Ok, fine ya are, lol!

URGES

[DESIGNED BY SHAWNQT]

Ty's Creative Challenge

I'm so happy my friends are creative!

Ty gets kool-aid points for coming up with the challenge!

Here is my entry, the topic was "graffitti":

CHECK OUT THE OTHER ENTRIES AT

ty-aspire.blogspot.com

[my baby even did an entry... he's so creative... turns me on!]

Ohhh yeah... Omar posted

a photo of us with our fish faces!

Don't I look like Dory from Finding Nemo?

POWERBLOG HUNGRY?

I have been thinking about this for the past couple of days, and really wanted to address this to you guys. Is it possible for a blogger to become "POWERBLOG HUNGRY?"

Just think about it.

Blogs have become a venue for the simplest of people to share there thoughts and stories to an unseen audience, and if popularity is attained, can reach millions of people. Even the most established of professionals use blogs to gain greater status in there own careers.

I mean think about it. Trent Jackson, author, has now become an infamous Blog-Radio Host! Dr. Lyons, brilliant graduate student, has established the well-known Rashawn Brazell Memorial Fund! Even Stephen Earley Jordan II (aka Bougie Black Boy) released of his book "Beyond Bougie" of personal essays, creative nonfiction, and poetry which some, started on his very blog!

You have to admit, bloggers have power!

Yet sometimes you can get lost in it all. It's like you become this miniature or full-blown celebrity! It always feels good to know that your name is out there, your going to all these events, and people read you everyday... so is it possible to become "POWERBLOG HUNGRY?"

I had a situation with a blogger that seemed so off to me.

I was thinking to myself, was what the blogger doing more about there NAME and status, or was it really more about uplifting the blog-community?

Do we as bloggers have a responsibility in what we say, how we say it? Or is blogging just a page ALL ABOUT ME? Do we USE, not collaborate, but USE other bloggers to reach a certain status for our own blogs or in our careers? Do we really appreciate other bloggers for there own endeavors, or are we just so high and mighty that we think our shit is the ONLY SHIT?

It makes me think about my own POWER.

Do I have an effect on the blog-community? Do I Inspire? Entertain? Uplift?

Hey I'm just asking the questions, and just looking for the answers.

ARE YOU POWERBLOG HUNGRY?

Happy Birthday Mom!

A short light-skin woman from the south.
lived on a farm with her parents, 10 brothers & sisters.
she is the youngest of the siblings.
soon by fate and mystery she left her family,
to live up north and beared a child.

this baby girl is my mother.

my mom wanted to be a dancer.
she wanted to be a model.
she wanted to do all the things her heart desired.
she wanted to be loved.

through her pursuits, she fell in love with a man.
a man that took all those things away from her.
and that left her with only me.

she was only twenty,

and now had another mouth to feed.
with just a one room apartment,
trying to pay bills,

struggling to finish college,
it was a lot and a sacrifice,
to make sure that I would have a better life.

yet through it all,

my mom gave me:

a childhood
insight
freedom
creativity
knowledge
laughter
wisdom
strength
sensitivity
responsibility

integrity
dreams

& love...

...and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

No matter how old we both get, I will never forget the times that me and you were each others role dawgs. Your my bestfriend. My mommy. I celebrate you!

[taquan]

THE DC.

What's going on Bloggers!The Qt has hit DC! I loved every minute of it!I got to go on a roadtrip with Fuzzy, and the rest of our friends!We made our own Black Gay Pride! Check out the Photos!
the ty. the terrific ty. the ty-rrific. the keeping it real.the masters graduate. the video soul. the abstract vision.
the d. the what up kid. the black rooster.the bet. the house of derron. the creative to the core.

the qt. the holla at ya boy. the clark kent, superman.the designer from paper to clothes. the deeper soul with the smile of gold.

the fuzz. the love. the soul food.the knows it all. the jokester. the imagine me, christin seed.
the satuday night. the who that be, joining our crew in dc?


the my omar. the ramon. the r&b supastar.the hersheys kiss. the pissed at homo-tricks. the prayer, motivater.
the we. the me and he. the black gay love at its best.the no hotels, no clubs, no non-hetrosexuals, just me and he, and them.the enjoying destiny's dc in dc.

the sunday morning. the bob. the evans. the marylands hotcakes rival to ihops pancakes.the place of our breakfast desires.


the many. the multiple manys.the poses. the pimp stands. the gay stands.the laughs. the gays... a mess, but you love it!

the mess continues, live & direct...

the my shawn. the my omar.the never-dated, yet never duplicated.the bestfriends till the end.

the fuzz. the qt. the gadget man and the x-man.the me and you, don't we look cute?

the dupont circle. the all are welcome. the wizard of oz. the dc black gay pride.

the sunday afternoon. the roosevelt.

the waterfall. the sexiness. the get wet and lick your lips.the dc can't handle this.
the wait in line. the line-ditcher.the the can't wait to get mine.

the black men. the creatives.the posers. the lovers of a good photo.

the couple of you and me. the couple of hopes and dreams.yet... the couple of busting nuts. the couple of screw loose nuts. the couple that can't get enough!

the capital in my hand. the biggest dick I ever had.the monument that said, " fuck me hard usa. "

the america's top model. the nature all around.the omar styling profile.

the qt. the phoenix. the universal light. the thrust of angel's might.

the orange moon. the reflected in me.the beautiful gleam. the sexy serene.
the lincoln. the final destination.

the know it all. the taken it all in.the beautify of his mind excites me.

the I have a deam. the spot of dr. king.
the fuzz. the ramone. the d. the next I have a dream.

the dream come true. the thank you.

CHECK OUT
TY'S ASPIRE BLOG & OMAR RAMONE'S LEGEND OF 0 BLOG
FOR MORE DC DETAILS!