[adult swim]

Saturday, January 28, 2006


Shout out to Unconquerable Soul for a wonderful EVENT! You did Great!

Today has been a really long day. It's just too much going on, and on, and on...

But what can you do? I KNOW! Start reading THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! I started on Day 242: Use your Left Hand all today. [i like to skip around] Yes a brotha was left handed, and it wasn't cool. Challenging is a better word. I cooked breakfast this morning, and it is really hard to crack an egg properly with your left hand. Then trying to flip the eggs in the pan, I really don't think my left arm is strong enough, lol. I think the most interesting part was using the mouse on the left hand side. Go ahead, try it? Weird huh? I actually found out that my friend Omar is left handed, who knew! He thinks he is a big shot because he can do shit with his right and left hand... show off! It wasn't that bad I guess...

Is Left Right?
When one chooses a life so left field can it be acceptable?
Can one be Gay and it be ok?

Its hard when one of your friends is a church boy, and even though he told his family about his sexuality, they still try and "convert" him to be straight "in the name of jesus", of course! And why not when your big brother is a minister, and plays the "protective" role by threatning to beat up any nigga you bring to the house, and pray for you "in the name of jesus", of course! So why not become straight, date women, so your family will be ok with you, even though you deny everything that you are, its "in the name of jesus", of course!

I don't know about you, but Jesus name stands for:
& Love.

It is hard accepting your sexuality with your spirituality, and many believe the two don't belong in the same sentence... but I think they can go hand and hand.

I believe that sexuality is the physical manifestation of your thoughts and emotions. It is what drives us on the most basic of human nature to the highest of spiritual nirvana.

Of course sex is the driving force of procreation for all of humanity. Heck, all of life!

Outside of that, our thoughts and emotions about our sexuality [be it male, female, homosexual, or heterosexual] physically manifests into how we talk, how we dress, how we interact with others, and how we connect physically with each other. These variables are random, and biologically and socially affect all of us. So you can have a straight woman, who loves playing hard tackle football, or a Gay Man who just loves to dress up as a woman. Life is Random, Life Happens, and who's to say that none of this is suppose to exist, when it exist! It's Natural [part of Nature], yet not Normal?

Normal to who? Normal always changes. What is normal today, will not be normal tomorrow.

To some, being left-Handed is not normal, but its natural (part of nature) for someone to be left-handed. Today I was left-handed, and you know what, it was a challenge, and it was hard, but I'm still alive! I still got it together! What's wrong with that? Accept it! Accept Me!

I wonder if Jesus was left handed?

[wow, I love this book!]

Thursday, January 26, 2006


Part instruction manual, part therapy, part religious cult, part sheer anarchy, This Book Will Change Your Life will help you poke a stick in the spokes of your routine. It contains 365 daily orders, each one of which could turn your humdrum existence into a daily free-fall. On day 295, propose to a complete stranger. On day 181, get your street renamed after you. On day 16, discreetly give the finger to everyone you meet. Other days encourage self-crucifixion, currency manipulation, and writing to dictators. Unusual and hilarious. The perfect gift for the guy or girl who has everything!

...and now, I OWN IT! It was a gift I gave to a love of mine, and I was so fascinated by it, I finally got my own copy. I'm going to use my blog to document these crazy antics, So EVERYONE be ready! I love the Graphic Design in the book, its a must have for anyone trying to get out of there shell. Since I was in the Book store, I picked up my first Gay Novel...

...although the cover is totally different now. I read the first few pages, and really took me back to the times when I used to hang out in the Village in NYC. I'm glad the story is set in New York so that I can relate to it more. I also picked up the last issue of...

I have been running around NYC trying to find this DAMN magazine, and didn't think to go to the Village to pick it up until today. Duh! It is very interesting, I wouldn't mind doing Graphic Design for them. Maurice (cover model) is a sexy kat, he represented Jersey well! I have to go back and read the articles now, lol.
Speaking of eye candy...

Isn't Rockmond FINE AS HELL! DAMN!

[tomorrow is the friday, some how, some way, im going out!]




Tuesday, January 24, 2006


I never meant to break your heart...

I'm sorry it ended this way, I will miss you, and I will always love you.

Monday, January 16, 2006

How Cold is Hell?



Ok, so I decided instead of just doing another blog entry, I would just edit this one since I really didn't say anything. Just want to thank everyone for the love & compliments. A Man always loves compliments, no matter how modest he is. Honestly, it feels good to take these photographs, because back in the day... MAN! I was Steve Urkeled Down! I has a major nerd, and I honestly wasn't trying to be, but when your shy, don't have the best clothes, short, skinny, and have glasses bigger then your face... it happens. I'm over that insecurity now. It took a long time though. I'm really starting to come out of my shell, and I'm excited about it! I always tell my friends I'm a "Sexy Beast!"

So I had an American Idol Party Last Night, it was a lot of fun. Had 4 of my friends come over, we ate Dominoes Pizza, and bugged out laughing all night! Hopefully we can do that every Tuesday Night. What I want to know is why did Simon tell that man he should be a female impersonater? Funny, but so wrong! Now that is embarrassing! Why do I get a feeling that twins might be big this year? The First set of Black twins (you know the gay ones) they was good, but the second set of Black twins (you know the gay ones) they was cute! I sooooo want a Black Sexy Man to win this year (or two) ! This has to be the year for the Blacks (maybe even a Latino).

I wish I could go to Derrick L. Briggs Book Club, buuuuttt, my company party is on the same day. It's ok, I'll just go to the next one. I just wanted to get some things off my chest, lol. My Mental is going through it, but I'm praying for strength and clarity, and hopefully everything will turn out ok. It's hard to make changes as an adult, even though you gain a lot, there are some things you have to leave behind, even if you love those things.

Why is there so much drama going on with the blogs these days? It's actually funny to me. I guess a lot of people are saying things without thinking how it will effect others, and a lot of people are taking things a little too much to the heart. Hey, what can you do? I haven't been to the club in a minute? I might have to handle that. lol. I also have to pick up my first gay novel this weekend, and this other book, which I'm going to do a blog about in a couple of days. I'm telling you this book is going to take me to another level, or what Derrick would say, another Dimension!

I was tagged by ProfessorGQ a couple of months back, and never responded (My bad!) so I thought I would just take the time to answer him back!

5 Facts About Me

1. I'm addicted to French Fries! I think I have eaten French Fries at least everyday of my life. McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys, Popeyes, KFC's Wedges, hey... even White Castle's fries. I have cut back a lot now, and will try and eat them twice a week, but its soooooo hard!

2. I danced for the best selling female group of all time, TLC. In a manner of speaking, lol.

3. I have had my artwork showcased in local art galleries in high school.

4. I have owned 22 dogs throughout my lifetime. Damn house was a kennel!

5. I love phone sex with a passion. It's a mind thing to me.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


...my house is so unorganized. i don't want to be a slob. I need to vacuum the rug. put up my clothes. make my bed. fix the toys on my shelf. put this freaking cream on my face. my kitchen smells like bananas. i dont have no airspray. i have to wash dishes. i hate washing dishes. i'm tired of eating chicken. i have to work out tonight. I should be watching cable, i mean i do pay for it. i have to fix my game table. i left my cell phone at home today. so i have to make all these phone calls. I DONT HAVE A HAIRCUT! i wanted to blog about something cool. but im lazy as hell. i want to write a book. but I don't know where to start. i want people to come over and chill tomorrow. i want to go out and chill. i dont know if i want to go to nyc. should i stay in jersey? i want to go to this event called "work" on sunday, but i have to "work" in the morning. do i really want to go to nyc this weekend? i have to wash so many clothes. im sitting here eating popcorn like a fat bastard. im suppose to be eating healthy. i hate eating healthy. but, i want a banging body. everyone online thinks im crazy and having a breakdown. im just frustrated because im still sitting here, and being so damn lazy. why can i just get up and get it done? huh? tell me? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME, LOL! ok, just relax. its all good. im just going to write this, and just let everything out.

breath in.

breathe out.

breath in.

breath... why the hell am I typing this!

where is my fruit punch?!!!!!!!! fruit punch makes me happy. minute maid fruit punch, oooohhh yes! i hate when popcorn gets in your teeth. my tongue can never really get it out the way i want to. now i have to brush my teeth. sigh. im horny. its almost time for me to go to bed. well not really. but time is wasting. why am i still here, when i got so much to do. why am I procrastinating?



Saturday, January 07, 2006



Could you be born with it,
or acquire it in your teens?
An ongoing struggle, to know what it means.

We have the power,
the thoughts in our minds,
yet considered a crime, to unleash the tide.

What are we destined to be?

Freaks of nature, wanting Flee?
Or a New evolution to reign supreme?

We are forced to lie to hide our lives,
accept the whispers, and stares from the eyes... and we cry...

When are parents don't understand,
It wasn't part of the master plan.

Day by Day, we learn to control,
The X Factor engulfed in our souls!

[see the power in YOU!]


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

LRG, Sexy Books, & Puppies

So Christmas and New Years was good. I spent Christmas with Secret, which was Amazing and New Year's I just spent it alone. I was cool with it, gave me some time to just enjoy the apartment and relax.

Yesterday, I went shopping, and I came across this clothing line called LRG. The clothes are really cool, and very similar to my own style. I love the natural, yet vibrant colors, and the design is so fly. I would look sexy as hell rocking this! I'm not one into designers, I just buy what I'm feeling, but these clothes are really nice!

So I bought a hat, you know, start off small. Hopefully I will be able to buy some more stuff. [birthday 3.27.06] So I went home, and researched them online. Seems that Kanye West also wears the clothes... AND is a model for the line as well. Ya know I love me some Kanye! Sexy, Creative, & Intelligent: Gets me every time! This was just an added bonus. I have to get me some now![3.27.06] Crazy what influence celebrities have on you.


So listen to this. Let's say you have a friend, and both of you have the same style. Both of you are out shopping and pick up the same fly azz outfit. Do you:

A) Put it Back, and let your friend get it.
B) You pick it up, and convince your friend to get something else.
C) Both of you guys get the outfit.

So the fine and intelligent Derrick L Briggs is doing this "Books Are Sexy Campaign" for 2006, and is looking for a New Model.

What's interesting about this opportunity is that I decided that, this year, I was going to let go some of my inhibitions [I hold back out of fear sometimes], and also to read at least 3 books. So when I read this on Derrick's blog, I felt this would be perfect for me!

I honestly never read any Black Gay literature, and was thinking about doing it this year. Do anyone know of any good ones to start with?

Most of the books I read now about about GOD and religion, and while I enjoy it, I want to learn about other people's experiences in the Black Gay Lifestyle. I could be a "Books Are Sexy" Model Right?


Look at my Puppy! Well he's not really my puppy, he's my sister's, but I get to babysit Lil Kanye when ever I have to babysit my sister. He's 5 weeks old, and he's a mixture of a Chiwawa and a Terrier. Hey, don't ask, he's Gangsta! My Mom got him for my sister. My sister is 13 years old, and she is mentally delayed, and she doesn't know how to talk. They feel by getting my sister a dog, she will be able to verbalize more.

My sister has been like this all our lives, so we are used to it. If anyone meets my sister, she is the most loving and smiling girl you will never meet! She's my Angel, always shows the whole family love. You should see Kanye and my sister playing, its so cool. But one day, I'm going to sneak Kanye away from them, and treat him to a cute afternoon in NYC!

[I see you guys liked "Walking Away"]

[I might do another one]



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