FAMILY UN-TIED 2: If it was only that SIM-ple
"HOME"
I first want to thank Soldier, ladynay, Rodney, Kool, Antneya, Double A Ron, Epsilonicus, Ty, Captain, Dancehard, Divo, Omar, Valentino, Unconquerable Soul, Luvin Me, Lj, Fuzzy, Jared, as well as L for the comments and personal conversations on my last post.
I have been reading the comments over and over again, trying to make sense of it all, but I do feel much better, and feel a lot more comfortable. Amazing how you guys really uplift me, blogging is the best thing ever!
What I didn't realize is that most of us are going through the same issues with our own family. The best advice I got was not to think that everything is going to be "perfect." The second thing I realized is I have to be confident in myself, and I am a great person to my family, and they can benefit from who I am, gay, or what ever because I have a lot of love and support to offer. I also realizedthat I have to make an effort, even if I am scared that I may lose a relationship with someone. If they don't want to be close to me, for what ever reason, that is there issue, not mine.
The issue of my father is still a tricky one. I really took Rodney's advice to heart, but making that step to contact him is not something I am comfortable with yet. I don't think because I didn't have a Father figure made me gay, because I have friends that have fathers in there life, and are still gay. I do think that the lack of my father being in my life is one of the factors of why I am was so uncomfortable about being gay.
I want to be a male role model to my cousins... it may not be in the most "macho" sense. I want to inspire them to have hopes and dreams, be creative, enjoy life, and be open-minded to other ways of thinking. That is something I can give them.
I sit here teary-eyed because I really do feel loved, not just from my family, but my friends, and even the people that read my blog. It makes me feel good to be accepted for who I am.
It's not going to be perfect, but I am going to try.
On a Lighter Note, I have added some Family Photos from my Sims 2 Game.
At least here I can create the PERFECT Family.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: No matter who I am, who I'm with, or what I do, my mother will always have my back! She knows that she raised her son to do great things!
posted by ShawnQt at
5:00 AM
13 Comments:
LOL WOW MyShawn...Keep growing ,learning and keepin it Sim-ple!
By
Omar Ramon, at 7:41 PM
Ok You definitely have one of the most interactive, interesting, nice, funky, funny blog of all times !
I don't read your entries, i eat them LOL
I have to read twice because the first time i'm so "wow-ed", i cant even concentrate !
I'll start using even more pix n' music in my posts. A brotha has to start somewhere LOL
P.S : On the family thing, it might not get perfect, but you can make it perfect FOR YOU. Keep on making the most of what you have, expect absolutely nothing from the ones who are not close to you, but stay open to changes. They will come.
And Omar, "Sim-ple" ? that one was excellent
By
Soldier, at 8:28 PM
you and Lisa woulda had some cute babies. When I decided to reach out to my dad I did it by letter. It seemed the easiest and least akward method at the time.
By
lj, at 9:14 PM
Shawn you are so talented and creative!
By
antneya, at 8:25 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you don't play Sims do you? *sigh*
My girlfriend has the game and does it online and is addicted!!!!
I simply refuse to do it! hahahahaha
By
Ladynay, at 10:18 AM
Wow you really did all that on the game? That's hot! I might have to invest in the Sims!
By
Cash S., at 11:04 AM
So insane/sweet/funny.
It's nice to have those types of things, but if you really had Kanye and Tyra as younger siblings and were into Ms. L, then it would be toooo crazy.
-Marz
By
Marz, at 7:08 PM
Awwww...I had a Sim family once...but my boyfriend died in a kitchen fire...lol
By
@GaryTylone, at 9:37 AM
that's great shawn, i got so much respect for u, i read thru ur last post while i was at work a couple of days ago and i didn't get the chance to comment, but wanted to say that i have a lot of admiration for you and i can relate to what u think and how u feel as well.
I'm not at all close to my family, it's even crazy because I even want to have a kid someday just so one I can have that emotional connection with that I never had with my family. My father was never around and kinda popped up at my high school graduation as if he was there all along. My mother got re-married to a man that was emotionally abusive towards me, we lived in the same house and were like strangers, we didn't even speak. So, I have the same thoughts as you as far as male relationships to being gay, because I think that my sexuality came out through a emotionally developmental process of never having that male-to-male, father-to-son connection, so I FEEL YOU, I know! I think it's the reason why I get so attached easily too. Always scared their gonna leave me (and they do) and my reaction to it is just as hard as my childhood all the same questions I find myself asking about my dudes I've asked about my dad, it's CRAZY.
But, I'm glad you have that relationship with your moms. That's cool I wish I even had half of that.
I actually forced myself to spend the 4th of July with my uncle and brother (cuz I didn't have anything else to do) and that's not something I usually do cuz they have more of a bond than I do with either of them. Surprisingly, it went really well.
But anyway, my bad for writing a post (i haven't posted on my own blog in a while LOL due to DRAMA) but u know how that goes, but YO keep your head up, i'm being for real when i say i have a lot of respect and admiration for you and I can never just read your posts once, or even twice sometimes more than that :) but thanx 4 putting it out there like that cuz u r NOT alone, and it's good to know that i'm not eitha. the only thing i think u can do is continue to do what i think u r doing, and that's being yourself... things may not always fall into place, or how you want them to, but keep it in God's hands and everything will work out for the good.
take care of yaself bruh
peace
By
heartbreaker, at 7:00 PM
I love the flipside to this story.
I also love the creativity that you used to articulate it. Wow, man... Blogging has had alot of us grow...
I am glad that I could be apart of your Blog-fam, and that what I said could give you something to draw strength from......
By
The Divo, at 3:27 PM
You are on the right track! I always have confidence that you will pull it back together.
Here is an option:
If you don't feel comfortable calling your father, send him a note or a belated father's day greeting. Let him know that you would like to make contact in a way that he feels comfortable. Let him know that you have questions, but make it clear that you are not trying to accuse or pass judgement because you don't know what has happened in his life to influence his decisions, but you would like the chance to know and try to understand. Hopefully this will free the space for him to make contact. If you don't hear from him, you made your attempt. Whatever the outcome... don't make it mean anything about you. You're beautiful DAMMIT!
By
Rodney, at 7:49 AM
That was touching!!!!!!!ANd a cute entry....
By
NegroPino™, at 10:54 AM
Hello!
I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use the photograph you have posted in this book. Please contact me at mattvid07@gmail.com, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Matt
By
Matt's Blog, at 11:18 AM
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