[adult swim]

Monday, May 22, 2006

Head Above Water


Did you guys see Oprah's Legend Ball?! Why was I so emotional! It was so amazing to see so many great and talented women in one room. I commend Oprah for giving thanks to those who paved the way for us. I just hope that one day I can contribute to GOD's Legacy.

I was actually going to do a post today about inspiration, and people who inspire me, but I can't top Oprah, lol. I'll save it for another post.

Life has been really good these past couple of days. I can't complain. Over the weekend, I celebrated a birthday with a friend of mine named Mike. He's made cool, and very attractive [so thinks Omar]. We all went to Red Lobster, and just enjoyed the weekend. He just turned 24 (just make me feel old why don't you!)

Sunday I went to church. Me? Church? I know right! But ever since I have been dating Fuzzy, I have been going more often, and not really minding. We went to a Gospel Youth Choir Explosion Event, but there was no youth choir! Yes, no choir! LOL. To take up the time, all we got was testimonies, the church mother singing songs, and the preacher giving a message. But GOD always has something planned, so there was much praising regardless. Even though I did want to see a choir, lol.

I was bored today, so I took a photo of me. [photo at top]
I like it, I took a few more, but I don't feel like putting them all up here.

Ohhh yeah, I have been on a diet!
Well not really a diet,
but I have been controlling my Fat Intake.
No French Fries. No Hamburgers. No Fried Foods.
Just Chicken,
and Wheat Bran Cereal. LOL.
I'm going to start off small, and do it for 2 weeks.
I passed week 1 perfectly... now Im on week 2.

But its all about control. On top of that, I am doing crunches and push-ups to tone my body, and get my abs tight. I feel a difference, but haven't seen it yet. I'm going to try and be consistent and patient. You guys have to stay on me though.
So my American Idol parties have been a success, but to bad the FINAL PARTY won't happen! I'm not doing a big huge party for TAYLOR! It is just not going to happen! Everyone can still come over, and watch, but I won't like it. Not one bit. Damn Taylor! Why Paris, WHY! Bring back Lotoya London & Jennifer Hudson! Bring Back Nikko! Oooooo Nikko!

Sigh. At least a Black girl won on America's Next Top Model.
Eva is always on the move, did you see her in Jamie Foxx video? Sexy!

I have so much cleaning to do this this house, I should not be online! LOL
Let me go be productive.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Monday, May 15, 2006



Sunday, May 14, 2006


I really dont have anything to say. lol.

Right now, I'm at Fuzzy's house, waiting for him to get back from church. Today is hard for him, since his mother passed away last year. So I decided to take him out to New York, so he wouldn't be in the house sad. It's a surprize, so he doesn't know where I am taking him.

We are actually going to Dave & Busters in Times Square New York. You know, get something to eat, and beat him at Air Hockey... should be fun!

I have been staying at work late all this week! Sucks, but at least I'm getting some extra cash. I went to my friend Brian's party on Friday, and that was fun! I had to leave a little bit early because I had to work on Saturday. I really wanted to stay and enjoy everyone's company, but you have to be a responsible adult.


Yesterday I just chilled all day. I slept most of the day since I was tired from Friday night, and then we went to the comic book store to pick up "Civil War." It's really cool! What happen was, a couple of low-class superheros are going around taken down villians for a reality tv show. The villians are just chillin in the living room watching tv, and here comes the heros busting in so they can get ratings for there show. While in battle, a super-villian used his power and destroyed a school filled with 300 children!

The irreponsible act of the super-heros costed lives, and now the president and the government wants to register all super-powered beings. The government wants to train the heros to use there powers correctly, and be held accountable if they do something wrong. They should not be above the law, but uphold the law. While it would be good, some superheros have secret identies that they need to help protect themselves and there loved ones. It's a good read.


Fuzzy made dinner that night, and we watched one of Tyler Perry's plays, but we both fell asleep. lol.

I'm going too be working on a major graphic design project that will be coming out this fall. I'm so excited about it, but I can't reveal too much. It's going to be hot though.

I called my mom a couple of minutes ago, and of course she isn't home, but she feels a day off from being a mom is the best way to celebrate Mother's day. Go ahead Mom, do your thing!

I'm like so hungry! I can't wait till he gets back and we can get out of here.


I don't know if I want a PS3 or a Wii!

I don't know if I want to pay $500 for a PS3, but I have a PS2, so I feel obligated, lol. Plus, there games are way better, and the graphics are killer! BUT, Wii looks really cool, and I like the new controller! I love the Zelda game, but the graphics won't be that good, or at least better then PS3. But, it will be cheaper! I never get a system when it first comes out, so I want to this time, especially since I have the money. That's if I can even find one, that is another story.

Ok I stink, let me get in the shower, I'll holla at you guys later!


Sunday, May 07, 2006


It was in the 7th grade. I just graduated elementary school and I had to go to a new middle school. It was like a magnet school for kids that were gifted in ART. Now you would think the school had to be on point. Yeah right, the school was ghetto as hell! But I grew up in the hood, so I was used to it. I was never no one's "gangsta." I was me. I played with action figures while everyone went out playing basketball, stealing peoples bikes, and fighting everyone they saw. I just gotten my glasses, and then, they were just too big for my face! So with me having big glasses, me being short, and me being the not so stylish kid... I was a target for:

being called names
everyone pulling down my sweat pants
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches squished in my face
and ecto cooler squirted all over my clothes

Embarrassing! I hated going to that school. But the weird thing about it was, whenever we was in Art class, they never picked on me. They actually gave me compliments! But as soon as we go out of the class, I was nobody all over again.

To them, I was Urk-Man, there very own geeky Steve Urkel.

There were only like A couple of boys in our 7th grade class. All the popular dudes were in "Da Gang." For me to be part of "Da Gang" I had to go through some tests. Kha was one of the leaders, and he messed with me the most. He was tall, thick, and had a bald head. Not cute at all ! There was this other guy. His name was L-Dogg. He was so sexy! Light skin, chinky eyes, big pink lips, nice slim body, and a lil thugged out. This was around the time when gangsta rap was big, so everyone wanted to be a Gangsta! You had to know all the raps from"The Chronic" or you wasn't cool. I admit, I did like the songs, but I was no where near a "gangsta." Then there was JM, Has, and Adam, all of them cool were cool, and they didn't bother me much, but they were followers, so when Kah messed with me, they all messed with me!

I remember, the first test was I had to fight one of the members of the "Da Gang." I had to fight JM. Now JM had big muscles for a young dude., but he wasn't the brighest out of our class. So Kha, put us all in the boys bathroom and told us to have it out. I was so scared... but the adrenaline was pumping in my body, and I had to beat this dude down so that I wouldn't have them teasing me anymore.

So he punches me in the stomach, and I punch him right in his jaw. He falls back, and I punched him right in his chest, and then he bum-rushes me. He punked out. You know in boxing your not suppose to be all hugged up on your opponent. So he gets a couple of hits towards my ribs, and I push him to the wall, and bang his head on the urinal. LOL.

JM starts bleeding, and everyone stopped the fight. I pasted the first test. I wasn't really hurt either. A little soar though. JM gave me a pound and a hug, and we were still cool after that. Kah just looked at me like, he didn't care, but L-Dogg gave me my props.

The second test was that I had beat up a sixth grader. I soooo didn't want to do that! L-Dogg was the only one with me this time.

L-Dogg said, "Yo punch lil man right in his face!"
His lil sister was Like, " If you punch him, I'll going to get my daddy to kick your azz!"

The kid was a lil' chunky, smaller then me.

"I'm Sorry," I said and I punched him dead in his eye! He fell to the ground, and me and L-Dogg ran down the streets, while lil-momma was screaming...

"Come back Here, I'm going to get ya'll"

The bad thing about it was, the 6th grader lived few houses down from L-Dogg! Yo, why did the police come knocking on L-Dogg's door. I was so scared. We looking out the window, and lil-momma and her Dad were across the street. I could see her pointing to the house. We never did answer the door. After like 30 minutes, the cops left, we cracked up laughing thinking we were real "gangstas."

[come to think about, we never did get caught after that.]

L-Dogg looked out for me. One day, we was in his room, and he asked me to get this shirt out of his closet. As soon as I open the door, I saw mad Action-Figures in a crate! He had Ninja Turtles, Marvel Superheros, Batman, GI-Joes, He-Man, Thundercats, Everything!

He told me he still plays with them, but none of his boys knew, and if they did, they would clown him for life! I told him, I still play with my action figures, and that next weekend, we had a huge battle on his bedroom floor. He said, if you don't tell anyone about this, I'll tell the boys to let you in "Da Gang" and stop messing with you all the time. That worked for me!

The last test was CRAZY! I had to smoke weed! Now Kha wanted to get me so high that it made me sick. Honestly, I think Kha was jealous of my talent, and just wanted to fuck my head up. He was a big dude, and I think he enjoyed power. He just needed someone to push around so that it made him feel like he was somebody. Most of the boys in "Da Gang" never really listened to him, so he just picked on me. So Kha lights up the blunt, and passes it over to me.

So then L-Dogg steps in, and tells Kha I'm not smoking.

"What you mean the nigga ain't smokin? Who is he, your fuckin girlfriend or something?" Kah said.
"Fuck You Kah, this my lil man here, he already proved himself, leave him alone," L-Dogg said.

Kah looks at me.
He tells me to stand up.
I stand up.
Kah makes a fist.
I look at his hand.
He looks me in the eye.
I feel a sweat coming down my face.
He moves his arm and his fist towards my face...
He stops.

I didn't move.
I didn't flinch.
I look him in the eye.
He smiles.

"Whatever nigga," and he walks away.

sigh. I'm safe! I was so scared! But the teasing did stop, but they still called me Urk-Man. I still had my big glasses. I was still short. I still wasn't stylish.

But I had heart.

[check me out at myspace.com \ be my friend \ it will be fun]

Saturday, May 06, 2006

[my space]

[be my Friend \ it will be fun]

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Pinkin' Ain't Easy

This week has been crazy!

Why was I crying this morning?
I was going to work, had my ipod on, and I was listening to this song my boyfriend introduced to me. "Imagine Me" off Kirk Franklin's Hero Album. So I'm listening to it, and the music & lyrics, just hit me. I just let it all go...

Boss going on rants for no reason.
People stealing money from me.
Rumors plaguing my closest friends.
Boyfriends stealing my cousin's car.

Just too much this week. But I had my GOD moment... just to get that sign from GOD reassured me that everything was going to be ok.

On Friday, I went to Clay's party... it was mad fun! Happy Birthday Clay! If you didn't see him dance, you missed out! Bunny is crazy funny... and my friends better stop trying to give me jello shots like I drink! Why does everyone want to see my drunk?

It's always good to hang out with my friends, everyone is just so cool, and mad funny... I feel like I can really can be myself around them. Bougie is so fun to hang out with... he so crazy! Hey Bougie!

AfterClay's party, we all went out to eat, and then me, Omar, and my boyfriend went to the village to find me some sexy underwear. I'm really looking for the ultimate sexy pair of underwear! If anyone knows where else I can find them, let me know!

That Saturday, me and Omar went right back up to NYC to go to Derrick L. Briggs Book Club. Rumors was the topic! It was a good thing to discuss, but me personally, I pretty much know how to deal with rumors. I had to pass on some advise to a close friend of mine who is dealing with a rumor now. It's always good to see Derrick, and I even met a few friends there. Hey Jared!

I feel myself really starting to lose patience with people. Why do people have to be so ignorant and inconsiderate? I never really had to deal with such strong negativity! You can't change everyone! You can't curse them out! And, it so hard to ignore! sigh.

This just stresses how you really need to keep strong and positive people in your circle. I finally deleted my adam4adam account, and so did my boyfriend.


It just really wasn't worth it anymore. I'm not hating on the site, just stating my experiences on there. Its crazy that all these stories about these sex sites are linked to HIV & AIDS. Outside of that, the major problem is that we don't know how to use our sexual energy properly! We get so caught up in the physical, we forget about the mental and the spiritual! I pray that it turns around, and black gay men will lift up and be the true kings and princes we deserve to be!

[It ain't easy fellas.. Pinkin ain't easy!]

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