Oh My God, I can't Swim!

Why didn't anyone tell me being an adult was hard?

Ok sure, my mom said something about responsibility, and taking life seriously. And maybe she said something about kicking me out the house if I didn't go to college, and have a good career, that pays good money, so that I can pay her back for all the long hours of labor she had to endure bringing me into this god-forsaken world. And don't forget the countless years of raising a knucklehead like me who rather draw lil cartoon characters then play sports, and become a star athlete, or get good grades, and become a doctor, or a lawyer, or both! Ok, yes she told me that college would be expensive, I needed a bank account, so that people wouldn't steal money out of my sock drawer, get a driver's liceanse, because taking the bus in the winter is a bitch, and to learn how to cook with the stove, and not the microwave, because TV dinners will not last forever.

yeah. Being an adult is hard... And I can't even swim. I know, I'm sorry. I admit it, I can't swim. I almost drowned one time. jumped on my cousin's back. She couldn't swim either. I should have known. The lifeguard saved me that time. Thank you lifeguard, for saving my life, and letting me live to become an adult.

[thinking]

damn that lifeguard, this is all his fault! Sigh...

[shawn]