LOVE: Episode 4
Entry originally written: Saturday, August 06, 2005 READ: EPISODE 1, EPISODE 2, & EPISODE 3 before reading...Episode 4:
Another Card?
After those words, the rest of the date just felt so faded, as if I wasn’t there, but I really wasn’t there. All I could remember was all the times he disappointed me in the past. I expressed my disappointment, but I don’t think he really understood how upset I really was. I love him so much, I was hoping and praying so badly that this one time he would come through… and he didn’t.
He got something from Old Navy; we got on the train, got lost, and finally ended up at the restaurant. All I could do was try and make the best of this situation. We talked over dinner about work, and played catch up. We even talked about what both of us wanted out of a relationship on the train ride home. We got to his house, and he opened up the present I gave him. He really enjoyed it. He then gave me a card.
Another card. I wanted to appreciate that card so much, but it was just a reminder of my disappointment that night. He told me he didn’t have time to get me something due to work, and he didn’t just want to get me something last minute and that he would get me something this weekend. Maybe I could give him a second chance. Honestly, I got tired of giving him second chances. You only get one night, one moment to make it magical. That night I feel asleep, we were not intimate. I got up that morning, and just wanted to leave. I got emotional, as I looked at him sleep. What had gone wrong with us? As I told him I was leaving, he gave me a hug and kiss. I left, and forgot the Anniversary card on the table. I would have never thought that would be the last time we would be together.[OH YES, there's MORE, to be continued...]
Another Card?
After those words, the rest of the date just felt so faded, as if I wasn’t there, but I really wasn’t there. All I could remember was all the times he disappointed me in the past. I expressed my disappointment, but I don’t think he really understood how upset I really was. I love him so much, I was hoping and praying so badly that this one time he would come through… and he didn’t.
He got something from Old Navy; we got on the train, got lost, and finally ended up at the restaurant. All I could do was try and make the best of this situation. We talked over dinner about work, and played catch up. We even talked about what both of us wanted out of a relationship on the train ride home. We got to his house, and he opened up the present I gave him. He really enjoyed it. He then gave me a card.
Another card. I wanted to appreciate that card so much, but it was just a reminder of my disappointment that night. He told me he didn’t have time to get me something due to work, and he didn’t just want to get me something last minute and that he would get me something this weekend. Maybe I could give him a second chance. Honestly, I got tired of giving him second chances. You only get one night, one moment to make it magical. That night I feel asleep, we were not intimate. I got up that morning, and just wanted to leave. I got emotional, as I looked at him sleep. What had gone wrong with us? As I told him I was leaving, he gave me a hug and kiss. I left, and forgot the Anniversary card on the table. I would have never thought that would be the last time we would be together.[OH YES, there's MORE, to be continued...]
posted by ShawnQt at
7:50 PM
10 Comments:
Boi, where is this sad story going? LOL
KD
By
KneeDeep, at 5:05 PM
It's a story I have been holding back for months, I guess it's important for me to tell it. Release it.
By
ShawnQt, at 5:37 PM
I am anticipating the rest...
But I am starting to think that it might depress me a little.
However, I am glad that you feel comfortable enough to share. All of this has had to make your ground fertile for greater things in your current life or if not now your future.
I am praying about the rest before you share it, I am feeling a load coming. My spirit is vexed.
As always in Parting,
I came in Peace and in Peace I leave.
By
The Divo, at 8:29 PM
My heart is in my throat, and I don't even know you. (Cool first name, though...same as me.)
I definitely feel the catharsis. Hope things are better. . .
TLO
By
The Lonely Optimist, at 10:38 PM
I sm coming in on this soooooo late in the story but I just caught up by reading the other episodes.
WOW.
I. have. been. there.
I sooooo feel you Shawn. Almost the SAME thing happened to me on my 30th birthday (supposed to be a GREAT time and celebration, right??? Well....my then "sig other" BARELY celebrated it and got me a cheap-ass fake-ass necklace).
Though I do not know if this relationship has officially ended as we speak or if you are giving him another chance, I will say this: People are people and RARELY change unless THEY want to. It sounds like you are very romantic and thoughtful and that he "just isn't like that". Just a potential observation. I am demostrative like you are and feel your dissapointment. But have faith that though you LOVE his sirty draws, there IS someone out there who WILL love you like you NEED AND WANT to be loved. Never settle, because love alone isn't ALWAYS enuf to sustain a relationship unless BOTH people (not just you) put in work. I was soooooo outdonw with the "why do you have that big ole gay bag?" statement.
My feeling were hurt for you. Be strong hon.......
(hugs)
By
Disco, at 5:55 AM
You make me want to tell my story. I'm soo mad I can't!
I am waiting for the ending.. my heart won't start beating again if you don't give it to me soon! Can you please e-mail it to me? lol, we friends right? LOL
I feel you! You are worth so much more!
By
Unconquerable Soul, at 7:38 AM
You deserve so much more!! I'm sure he's out there too.
By
Systa Soul, at 7:40 AM
wow.. I found your site by accident kinda.. checking others that I blogged and saw your name.. thought I'd come check you out..
that was deep.. your episodes.. I am sorry to read that it is going this way. I think you need to move on. He has either found someone else (the long distances of not seeing one another and the infrequent calls) or lost interest in what you two had (forgetting something important like and anniversary and handing you a card and an IOU).
Keep ya head up.. and I look forward to reading the rest.
qt
By
gbfhbn, at 8:27 AM
Can I roll my eyes again, and exhale? I CAN'T!! I am about to watch waiting to exhale just so I queen out in my room...but wait. I'll see you later on tonight...no shade
By
Dubbed As Trent Jackson, at 3:21 PM
Damn. This is getting sadder by the chapter. But yeah, it is good to release it.
By
E, at 5:49 AM
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