Under Construction: Chapter 2

So I get to the pool and decide to go up on the diving board. Why in the hell did I decide to get on the diving board? I'm climbing up the ladder. Step by step. Hand over Hand. Foot over Foot. Thinking to myself, all I can do is go up. Everything will be fine. Imagine how good it will feel to master one of the greatest dives in adulthood. Getting my own apartment. So I'm climbing up. Saving money. Climbing some more. Getting my design decor together. Climbing some more... Mentally preparing myself for this one moment. So I'm on the board. My mom is poolside, cheering me own. My boyfriend is there, my best-friend is there, friends, family, co-workers... All of them are down there cheering me on.

Why in the hell did I get on this diving board? I can't swim. You would be scared too if you was thrown in the deep end with no blow up duckies to hold on to.

I have been at my apartment for 3 weeks now. It's not that bad. I have moved out most of my things from my mom's house, just have to move my dressers later. I have my bed now, so I don't have to sleep on the floor anymore. I plan to get a Full or Queen size bed soon though. I'm tired of sleeping on a Twin. Most of my clothes are in black bags, but I got a new steamer, so no more ironing for me! I love it! I finally set up my DVD player, so my mom gives me a few of her Netflix videos. The "Jem & The Holograms" DVD is coming soon, LOL. My computer is setup, but NO INTERNET! I'm dying without it. I'm on my boyfriend's computer now, but I'm waiting until the house is fully renovated before I can get my internet set back up.

On the downside, my stove is not hooked up, and I don't have a microwave... nor a fridge. I have to eat out every night, but my grandmother makes me dinner from time to time. I ate peanut butter and jelly for a week straight. I didn't mind.

On the upside, the living room is coming together perfectly! I have my coaches, pillows, rug, end tables, Lamps, all set up nicely. I just bought some curtains from IKEA the other day, and a cool azz shelf. I want to get some plants, but I don't have the time to really take care of a real ones. I bought a big frame to put this illustration I did. I have to find a way to blow it up. I plan to use a lot of my original artwork. I just can't see myself, being an artist, using a painting I can do myself. It feels good to know I am creating my own space.

I think of all of this as I step myself inch by inch to the end of the diving board. I'll be alright, I'll be ok... So then why won't I dive in???

[coming soon, photos from GAY PRIDE 2005]