[adult swim]

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Under Construction: Chapter 2



So I get to the pool and decide to go up on the diving board. Why in the hell did I decide to get on the diving board? I'm climbing up the ladder. Step by step. Hand over Hand. Foot over Foot. Thinking to myself, all I can do is go up. Everything will be fine. Imagine how good it will feel to master one of the greatest dives in adulthood. Getting my own apartment. So I'm climbing up. Saving money. Climbing some more. Getting my design decor together. Climbing some more... Mentally preparing myself for this one moment. So I'm on the board. My mom is poolside, cheering me own. My boyfriend is there, my best-friend is there, friends, family, co-workers... All of them are down there cheering me on.

Why in the hell did I get on this diving board? I can't swim. You would be scared too if you was thrown in the deep end with no blow up duckies to hold on to.

I have been at my apartment for 3 weeks now. It's not that bad. I have moved out most of my things from my mom's house, just have to move my dressers later. I have my bed now, so I don't have to sleep on the floor anymore. I plan to get a Full or Queen size bed soon though. I'm tired of sleeping on a Twin. Most of my clothes are in black bags, but I got a new steamer, so no more ironing for me! I love it! I finally set up my DVD player, so my mom gives me a few of her Netflix videos. The "Jem & The Holograms" DVD is coming soon, LOL. My computer is setup, but NO INTERNET! I'm dying without it. I'm on my boyfriend's computer now, but I'm waiting until the house is fully renovated before I can get my internet set back up.

On the downside, my stove is not hooked up, and I don't have a microwave... nor a fridge. I have to eat out every night, but my grandmother makes me dinner from time to time. I ate peanut butter and jelly for a week straight. I didn't mind.

On the upside, the living room is coming together perfectly! I have my coaches, pillows, rug, end tables, Lamps, all set up nicely. I just bought some curtains from IKEA the other day, and a cool azz shelf. I want to get some plants, but I don't have the time to really take care of a real ones. I bought a big frame to put this illustration I did. I have to find a way to blow it up. I plan to use a lot of my original artwork. I just can't see myself, being an artist, using a painting I can do myself. It feels good to know I am creating my own space.

I think of all of this as I step myself inch by inch to the end of the diving board. I'll be alright, I'll be ok... So then why won't I dive in???

[coming soon, photos from GAY PRIDE 2005]

10 Comments:

  • You're not alone my friend.... It's scary for now, but you'll get more comfortable! I have faith in you, you will make the dive one day! :)

    By Blogger coley, at 2:10 PM  

  • Everything will come together in it's time...

    There is nothing better than to have everything fall into place in it's natural time

    By Blogger Trent Jackson, at 2:41 PM  

  • First of all ... I missed you, man ... I was checking in on you like where is 'he'? lol.

    Most things 'new' are a bit scary. Don't think about it ... just dive in and enjoy!

    By Blogger Systa Soul, at 8:29 PM  

  • damn! you're own crib? can i move out of my mom's and come and chill with you? please?!? i will bring some plants and we can watch jem together. hahaha.. :)

    By Blogger Lene, at 11:35 PM  

  • congratz on the move,you were very lucky to have friends and family there to cheer you on and support you.I jumped off the diving board very early and when I did my perfect swan dive with a half twist...nobody was there to see it.

    By Blogger HOLIDAY N, at 7:50 AM  

  • Congratulations on Your Move.

    Change is a bit overwhelming. Metephorically, although you have made it to the diving board and are being cheered from the sidelines by people that love you, you have made it to that diving board of your own free will and faith in yourself. The same is what will propel you to do the dive of a lifetime, in time. Until then contemplate what you are diving for and meditate day and night. After, speak only of things that you want to have happen, and not of things that you think will go wrong. All of our thoughts are heard and answered to some degree.

    I will be praying for a stellar dive. How about you?

    As always in Parting,

    I came in Peace and in Peace I leave.

    By Blogger The Divo, at 5:00 PM  

  • Congrats on the move pa... yo... honestly, I dont know how peeps last with their folks so long... I havent lived at home since I was 17... my momz can WORK A NERVE!

    Love my family to death. Cant live with 'em tho. Hell-to-the-NO! (hee hee, I love that.)

    By Blogger prodigalsun, at 8:27 AM  

  • Once again, Congrads!

    Living on your own isn't that bad. I wish I could paint or make some graphic art. My walls are empty, lol.

    I love the whole adult swim concept. In a way, I kinda see my life as if I'm swimming and diving. Love it!

    Did you get that iron? lol

    oh, if you get any good deals on the bed.. let me know..

    By Blogger SmilingOnThaDL, at 10:45 AM  

  • We ARE on the same journey. Lets both have housewarmings !!! So what its an apt...free stuff!!! Yay!!! Jem and the holigrams is on netflixx !?!?!?!?!!?!?

    By Blogger Valentino, at 11:18 PM  

  • Hey nice info you posted.
    I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

    Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

    Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

    Keep up the good work!

    Thanks!.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:13 PM  

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