THIS BLOG IS SOMETHING ELSE!

Has there ever been a time when you felt uneasy, unbalanced, sad, depressed, disappointed, unfitting, or incomplete?

3 Years ago, on Christmas Eve, I felt the same way. I was on AOL Instant Messenger, talking to a friend of mine and my boyfriend at the same time. So I typed something to my friend about my lover, and I ended up sending it to boyfriend! Let's just say the comment could sound very hurtful taken out of context. He was very upset. I felt so bad. How could I hurt the one I love? I was so disappointed in myself. I called him to try and explain, and he wasn't hearing it. So I just hung up the phone, got my coat, and started walking outside. All around me was shivering winds & blistering snow. How fitting, because my heart and mind felt the same way. When I came back, I wrote this poem. It's called...

Shivering

Leaving on the Eve
When the lord is born
The snow is cold outside.
A draft creeps into my heart.

I'm like a shivering Shiva
With an orange moon on my head,
For love is on my mind
As I walk these streets alone.

Light after light
I connect the missing lines,
Unguided and nowhere to turn.
Thoughts of a savior come to mind
But he isn't born till tomorrow.

Northern stars and Supernovas
I search for in the brisk sky,
If only there was a full moon
He would be here by my side.

It's a damn cold night,
Nothing is going right,
And everything is a mess,
Yet I am fully dressed,
In language that is
Unevolving and insecure.

As I walk back home,
I see two sets of footsteps
In the snow below.
They are mine,
I have walked this path before.
I guess I am not alone
after all.

As I read this poem, on the same day 3 years ago, I look back at where I have been, and where I am going with my life. I have evolved into a better version of myself, and this poem is a testimony of that. I realized that No matter what I have been through, I have walked this path before. Either physically, spiritually, or historically. We all have all walked through the "shadows of death" and times when we wern't complete, and made it through. In times of despair, we feel as if GOD isn't present. But reading this poem now, I believed that night, GOD was with me, even when I didn't believe GOD was. Now, here I am as a testimony how GOD moves you through anything and uplifts you to be a better person.

I am no longer shivering out of fear,

but releasing the warmth and spirit of GOD!

This is what I feel, Christmas is all about. A Celebration of GOD, Family, & Gratitude. GOD gave us the gift of GOD's kin, who in return gave us the gift of life. Jesus gave us the ability to think outside or own limited thinking, and the understanding to love one another. Jesus allowed us to believe in ourselves, and our own power, so that we can be our own salvation. And last, but not least...To Honor God. So I thank GOD, for my life, my family & friends, even my blog. My Blog is Something Else. Reading the comments from my last post, made me realize that I'm blogging for a reason. I'm blogging for "meaning", and through GOD, and this blog, I know I will find it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!