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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

My Politics Of Friendship


Just how many friends do you need?

You need at least one best friend. Having two best friends is good, but don't go over that. Why? Trios, always work best. If one best friend is busy, you can just go to the next. If you go to having three best friends, it just makes life difficult. Making two phone calls is better then making three. You only need two shoulders to cry on. Two opinions on how you should live your life is enough.

Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is one of the best friendships you can have. It's the most intimate, and the most fulfilling. You can juggle a boyfriend/girlfriend and two best friends, and no one feel left out.

Always have a set of close friends. They can consist of friends you went to school with, friends you grew up with, even cousins close to your age. I don't think there is a limit to how many close friends you can have. I don't think anyone has more then maybe 6 close friends. They are usually people you was cool with in high school, and they know everything about you, but they have there own lives, and you only keep in contact with them from time to time. But when you get together, Its all fun and laughter again!

Everyone needs a group of acquaintances. People you know, but don't know. They can be co-workers. Friends of Friends. People in the hood. Members of a group or team. Just a group of people you spend a general amount of time with, just to enjoy there company. There's no limit for them, just keep positive acquaintances near you. Since there is no strong personal connection with them, they tend to bring drama, so just be careful with the company you keep.

Most people have Online Buddies. Just people you meet from time to time. Have some IM conversations, talk about nothing, talk about everything. It varies. I think everyone has had one really cool Online Buddy they talked to that they would love to meet, but they live on other side of the country.

Sometimes its cool to keep some ex's around. Some you keep around for a booty call, others are just there when your boyfriend/girlfriend is acting up, and you just need someone to talk to. Some ex's you just talk to every blue moon. If you are already dating someone, try to keep contact with ex's to a low minimum.

Have anything to add? Have anything you disagree with? Holla at me!

5 Comments:

  • I have been meaning to dwell on the friends, acquaintances, and online buddies politics for quite some time. Your entry on this is definitely appreciated.

    By Blogger Z, at 9:28 PM  

  • i don't know if i agree to the low minimum part... i have an ex or two with whom i think regular communication is vital. i mean, you spend several months or years enjoying a person's company and when it's over you're relegated to a low minimum? not me, sir, not me. if i saw fit to be in a committed relationship with someone for an extended period of time, i see no need to distance myself from them if there's no negative energy between the two of us. of course, if the partner is incapable of respecting the relationship that i'm in, it's another issue. but as long as we're mutually respectful of our relationships and clear on our boundaries, i think ex's can make the best friends.

    By Blogger Larry D. Lyons II, at 8:04 AM  

  • larry d: I understand your point about ex's. Of course everybody's experience with an ex is different. It could have ended either on good or bad terms. The reason why I say to keep it to a "low minimum" is that having 1 or 2 exs as good friends, maybe even as a bestfriend is fine, especially if you been friends with the ex before you got into a new relationship with another. From my experiences, I don't like distractions. I have had a few ex's that still want to be in a relationship with me, and don't respect the fact that I am involved now. That lack of respect is what brings the "low minimum" into play. This dialogue is all a process, and many of the points I made was off the top of my dome. So yes larry d, I totally understand where you are coming from! Thanks for posting!

    By Blogger ShawnQt, at 6:39 PM  

  • OK Ima speak from the "bestfriend" perspective...being as though it is obvious where everyone else is coming from... *winkwink* I agree with the both of you...being that you both are making same point. It's cool to chill with an ex as long as the respect and boundaries are there. Speaking from personal experiences there are those types of ex's that can become a friend even a bestfriend with none of that attraction crap that can mess everything up. But there are those ex's that even you arent safe from. Either they harbor the feelings for you and dont mind lettin you know...or it can be you. Everyone has that one "damn, they got away" and those people shouldnt be around if youre in a commited relationship. All that does is set you up for disaster. So my advice to them is STAY AWAY!!! Oh yeah I'm the good lookin tall one with the braids up there in the picture! lol

    By Blogger "SuperMalik", at 6:03 PM  

  • dude u are an amazing writer.....i just got this to say yo:

    "friends! how many of us have them...."

    lol, taking it back

    By Blogger C ain't Crazy he just Creative, at 7:43 AM  

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